There are lots of methods and techniques people employ to enjoy their electronic cigarettes and other smoking pleasures. But did you know that your style of vaping might reveal that you’re a secret ninja, or that you’re only interested in one thing and it doesn’t involve keeping your clothes on? Did you know there are certain techniques which enhance a particular mood or attitude? Here are some explanations of some of the more prevalent vaping techniques.
Classic Cigarette
The Classic Cigarette style is common among real cigarette smokers for its functional practicality, allowing ease of access to the filtered end while maintaining a safe barrier betwixt lips and the burning tip. Not as common among vape users as thicker e-cig models are often preferred over the thin cigarettes, making it more awkward to balance between the index and middle fingers. Ultimately this technique implies that you have more important matters on your mind than to be experimenting with different cigarette holding techniques.
Gentry
Often overlooked by the more masculine and testosterone-fuelled members of society, the Gentry technique affords one a particular intellectual opulence which other vaping styles cannot hope to match. Especially delightful when held aloft with the elbow of the vaping arm nestled upon the casually crossed non-vaping arm. Employ this style to disdainfully judge the world and all who wander within it.
Twee
Thoughtful yet deceivingly aggressive, the Twee method is all about control. It is a vaping style oft employed by those in deep thought, possibly in deep contemplation of how to completely dominate you and everything you are. Don’t let that effeminate little finger raise fool you, Twee-stylers know exactly what they want and are merely biding their time until they figure out how to get it.
Comfort
A very relaxed vaping method, as its name may well imply. Employers of the Comfort technique are in no rush to finish their vape – or anything else for that matter. It is a happy and whimsical style which often reveals contentment with life. The Comfort style is most often glimpsed in those enjoying a vape on the steps of their front porch while still wearing their pyjamas.
Classic Cigar
When you witness a Classic Cigar technique, know that you are in the presence of immeasurable power. This mighty technique is born of high status and the employer of this style will not take kindly to any nonsense or riff-raffery. Although essentially calm and collected, there are fiery furnaces beneath the cool exteriors of Classic Cigar technique users which will consume those who beset them with buffoonery.
Chap
The Chap method is the playful pixie of the vaping world. It can immediately come across as rebellious, perhaps even ridiculous, but will always ultimately reveal itself to be the preferred vaping style of the incredibly charming and witty. The user of the Chap style is no sheep and can be recognised by a playful smile on the lips and a cheeky glint in the eye. Look out for this style accompanied by waxed moustaches and the finest riding trousers known to man.
Bounder
The employer of the Bounder technique secretly desires only the pleasures of the flesh. They use this technique to subliminally coax your unsuspecting mind into seemingly random thoughts of undressing and engaging in illicit acts of love with them. When we are alone, we may find ourselves hating the Bounder, but then they turn up and we love them all over again and we have no idea why. So beware this mischievous manipulator.
Ladies
The Ladies method is so-called by chauvinist pigs who perceive the submissive undertones of this elegant technique to be those of the fairer sex. But whether female or male, you can employ this method whenever you’re feeling decadent (twinned with maroon smoking jacket over silk pyjamas for maximum effect), or even just completely knackered, sitting down at the end of a hard day’s work, contemplating the fact that over the past 12 hours you have achieved exactly nothing.
Stealth
The Stealth method is employed to aid discretion, perhaps even give the impression that one is not vaping at all. It is a technique employed by secretive types who wish to hide their true selves from the world or perhaps just their boss or angry spouse. Known users of the Stealth method are brow-beaten husbands, amateur ninjas, Google employees and low-level Yakuza henchmen.
